I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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