i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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