my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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