i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
