How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
