Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
