How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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