yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
