it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
