How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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