I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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