im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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