Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
