Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
