I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
