Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
