I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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