whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
