I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
