you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize