puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
