My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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