Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
