I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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