Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
