I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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