God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
