Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
