This girl is more easily done than said...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
