I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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