this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
