as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she peed on how many people?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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