time to smoke my breakfast
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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