god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
40s are totally the cure
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
