Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
