I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
