my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
