Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
