He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
