Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize