i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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