I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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