i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
