Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
