actually, I'm a sock model
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
