Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
