Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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