Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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