I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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