do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
