just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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