fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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