the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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