I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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