I hate all girls vehemently.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
