Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize