no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
