dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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