I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
