I feel great
I just peed on a car
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
