My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
