whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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